Porn is bad for a number of reasons, but I’ll start with the most obvious, then I’ll get into the less obvious and finally, I’ll give you some perspective on what you should be doing instead of watching porn.
First of all, the reason I can speak with any authority on this topic is because I used to be hopelessly addicted to porn from the age of thirteen, or twelve, really. My father, who meant well, handed me a stack of Playboys in a haphazard attempt to teach me about male-female relationships and that was how it all started. I never did get into webcam models or subscription porn, but I did eventually get into looking at free pictures on the internet as well as watching videos featuring all the prominent pornstars of the day while imagining that I was the one smashing all those hot girls.
When I say I was addicted to porn, I’m talking I’d browse through pictures and watch videos for hours on end. My porn-viewing habits would eat through the majority of the day, especially if I had any amount of free time on my hands.
It really did become like a form of escapism as well, a fantasy world where I had all these beautiful girls at my beck and call. I could see virtually any girl naked, splayed out, whatever I wanted. Porn, to me, was like an endless buffet of pussy-on-demand, whereas my real-life experiences with women at the time would usually end in rejection. It’s no mystery why I got so addicted over the years and years I used to consume porn.
Hopefully, you can already see the picture I’m painting of what porn addiction looks like from the outside looking in and, as you can see, it’s ugly, bro. Here you are a virile young man wasting your life watching other people have sex on camera for money, feeding this vicious cycle, and you don’t even realize that these porn girls don’t even enjoy it. It’s all an act.
Not to mention, if you did have access to any of those girls in real life, you’d be absolutely disgusted with them due to their gross, whorish behavior. You’d never be able to trust them, or have a meaningful relationship with any of them. So, you’re essentially lusting after these vapid, unmarriageable skanks. The whole experience is empty. It’s all just pure emptiness, sadness and death, really.
The negative physiological effects of watching porn
You don’t have to be a genius to figure out that porn has some very negative physiological effects. For starters, you’re training your brain to become aroused by watching other people have sex. This is bad because it’s constantly reinforcing the neural circuitry in your brain to respond in a way that’s one, unnatural and two, in a way that turns you into a voyeur rather than an active participant in the sexual act.
Do this long enough and what you may find is that, when faced with a real girl and the prospect of real sex, you could have trouble getting aroused, or suffer from performance anxiety, which used to happen to me.
You may also find that you only get aroused from watching certain types of hardcore porn and that the sight of a real girl naked is no longer enough for you because your ‘tolerance’, so to speak, for sexual stimuli is so high. This is the opposite of what you want. Ideally, you want your tolerance for sexual stimuli to be very low because it makes it so that you’re aroused easier and more frequently, which is a good thing for when you’re in a relationship, but porn counteracts this.
Porn also screws up the reward system in your brain. There’s a neurotransmitter called dopamine that makes you feel good when you accomplish things that further your survival as a human being i.e. eating, drinking, having sex, achieving goals etc. Dopamine is meant to help motivate you to go out and accomplish things because you get that chemical reward, but when you artificially boost dopamine by watching porn, it does three things that are harmful. One, it takes away your motivation for going out to meet girls in real life. Two, it takes away your motivation for accomplishing important life goals that make you a better person. Three, it makes your brain less responsive to dopamine, fueling the need to consume more and more sexually explicit imagery in order to get that same feel-good response. This is why porn is so addictive; it’s like crack, but much easier to access because it’s free and practically everywhere.
The negative spiritual effects of watching porn
If you’re new to reading my blog, you may not know this about me, but I’m a born-again Christian. So, what I’m about to tell you may shock you if you’re not familiar with spiritual things, but hang in there because I think you’ll be blessed.
As human beings, we were created in the image of God and since God is three-in-one, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, we are also three-in-one, soul, body, and spirit. This is why you hear all those esoteric stories about people having out-of-body experiences and what not. It’s why the body weighs 3 ounces, or 21 grams less at the moment of death. We have a spirit that lives on after we die.
I had an out-of-body experience one night. I was having a nightmare where I was alone in this art museum. All the lights were out, but for some reason I was captivated by this one painting. I got closer to get a better look when, all of a sudden, an unseen force lifted me up, like how a bully lifts up a nerd by the shirt collar.
Next thing I know, I was thrown through the painting, I think (I’m not sure what happened exactly) and suddenly, I was floating in the top corner of my bedroom looking down at my physical body laying in bed. I looked at my eyes and could see that they were pitch black. Something told me to go back inside my body, so I did. All I had to do was have the thought and I was back inside. But, once I was back in, I immediately sensed that I was not in control. It was like I was taking a backseat to whatever was in control of my body at that moment, a very scary feeling.
And that’s when I began to pray the Our Father because I didn’t know what else to do. There was an urgency in that moment and I could feel that something evil was trying to take me over, so my Christian upbringing kicked in and I started praying fervently. The incredible thing to me at the time was that whatever was in control of my body started to shake and vibrate violently as I was praying this prayer, so I continued to pray. By the third time I said the Our Father, I could feel these spiritual entities, demons, energy vampires, whatever you want to call them, being forcefully expelled up and out of my body. As soon as that happened, I opened my eyes, looked around, and somehow, it was already daylight out and shimmering light was peeking through the blinds. It was then that I knew everything I experienced was 100% real.
All of this happened shortly after I surrendered my life to Jesus. I believe that the Lord delivered me from lust and pornography that night because, ever since then, I’ve no longer had a desire to watch porn. God renewed my mind and made me into a new creation, just like the Bible says. My eyes were opened and I began to see porn for what it is: grotesque garbage that takes you away from God and leads to spiritual death.
So, yes I believe lust and pornography is an open door for evil spiritual forces to enter your life and that these forces want to derail your purpose and destiny. I wish I had known this sooner because it could’ve saved me many wasted years chasing after literal shadows.
What you should be doing instead of watching porn
Why is porn bad? Because it’s like a thief. It steals your time, your life-force, your goals, your very God-given destiny out from under you. That’s why practically anything else that’s positive, that’s going to teach you something new, or to help build you up, is a much better use of your time.
If you’re a teenager or young man with no girlfriend and no prospects, like I was, the first thing you need to understand is that there’s nothing wrong with you and that some of us are just late-bloomers, or become more attractive to girls later in life.
What you should focus on in the interim is becoming a better man. Start with working out and building a physique you can be proud of. Maybe take up a competitive sport or endeavor that gets you competing against other men and learning perseverance and determination. Learn to hunt and fish. Learn to grow your own vegetables and become more self-reliant. Start thinking about how you will support and provide for your future family. But, more than anything, focus on growing in your relationship with God and everything else will fall into place, like it did for me.
As Jesus said, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33).
Once I did that, God molded me into the man I needed to be in order to attract the right woman into my life, my wife, who is head and shoulders better than any woman I could’ve gotten on my own. We’ve been together almost ten years now and it keeps getting better.
A word about masturbation
Once you take my advice and start following Christ, He will guide you through His Holy Spirit as to how to conduct yourself, so whatever I’m about to say with regard to masturbation should be taken with a grain of salt and ultimately disregarded if it either doesn’t ring true to you, or it conflicts with what Jesus is showing you about masturbation, but here are my thoughts on the topic.
Sexual desire comes from God and everything that comes from God is good, but what makes something wrong or a sin is the misuse, or misdirection of said sexual desire.
I believe God gave us our sexual desires so that we could use them to find a wife, enjoy intimacy with our wives, and to ultimately start a family.
There’s nothing shameful or wrong about having sexual desires. In fact, they’re a good thing and should not be shied away from or hidden. For example, if you’re single and you feel sexual attraction toward a particular female, you should make it known to her, learn to flirt and get to know her better. The best use for our sexual desire is for learning to socialize, eventually date and basically get to know the opposite sex. That much is clear.
The problem many guys run into, however, is that for various reasons, they may not be attractive enough yet in order to be able to date a girl they’re interested in because they’re either too young, too immature, too inexperienced, or they haven’t worked hard enough on building themselves up enough yet i.e. working out, learning new skills, having success in one area of life or another etc.
So, in those situations where the body is already having wet dreams and the body already feels the attraction, feels the arousal, but doesn’t yet have the appropriate release valve for that arousal, I think it’s permissible to masturbate.
I’m not saying to masturbate with the aid of porn, though! Don’t get it twisted!
If I think back to the first time I masturbated, I was in bed and felt aroused just by the soft sheets touching my dick, so I masturbated in that moment with no sexual imagery in my head whatsoever and just because it felt good.
So, I think if you can manage to do it that way, then it’s not as bad. And I know it’s easier said than done. But, just be careful because you don’t want to allow masturbation to replace you going out there and mingling and flirting with the ladies, which should be the focus.
Because too much masturbation (even the permissible kind) can lead to isolation, self-doubt and analysis paralysis, whereas there’s no drawback to going out and socializing with the opposite sex. In one instance, you’re growing as a person by exposing yourself to new people, experiences and ideas and in the other instance, you’re alone in your room touching yourself, so when you look at it that way, it’s pretty obvious what the better choice is.
I hope this helps someone out there.
God bless you,
Read next: How To Talk To Girls (For Dummies)
